Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
