i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
