i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
a search helicopter?!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
