it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
