Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
