You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
