I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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