Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
