"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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