It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
