I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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