i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
