This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
