I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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