Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
