i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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