Heybabeimwearingurpanties
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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