Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There r osticjed everywhere
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
be right there i have to get my cape
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
