Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
