it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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