I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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