Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
