don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
