He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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