im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Randomize
