I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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