So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
