Me. At least after what I've been through.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
