STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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