And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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