she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
