Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
