it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
