Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
