There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
