We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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