I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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