New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
