I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i will never coherently bang her
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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