she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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