If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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