Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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