well you can't waste a boner
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
