U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
