she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
