he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
