my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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