You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
