I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
