You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
