I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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